My BFF was engaged to what seemed to be a very sweet, thoughtful, loaded guy. Luckily they had a long engagement; long enough for him to completely deplete his trust fund. Whereupon he had to start selling off her jewels (claiming he was having them insured), the repo man took their TV (he claimed it was broken) and she ended up being left with an empty apartment and outstanding rent. My BFF never felt comfortable asking him for an accounting and when she did, he lied, cheated and stole for more money. I wonder if she had asked for an accounting earlier if she could’ve prevented the trust fund from being depleted.
The moral of the story is this: Isn’t one of the reasons to become a trophy wife to never worry about money? These days it has become painfully clear that even the richest folks need to keep track of their finaces. Given that money is so important to us trophy wives, we should be able to keep track of it too. Even if he is good with money, it’ll help you know what you can afford and prevent becoming a “Former Mrs.” who finds their husband squirrelled all their dough away in a swiss bank account.
(Warning: Don’t try this in the beginning of a relationship or you will seriously freak out your meal ticket. We are Trophy Wives, not gold diggers.) It wasn’t until after my husband and I were engaged that I felt comfortable getting a full accounting of his assets. It was very difficult too, because he had become accustomed to keeping his finances private. In which case, say to your meal ticket “Marriage is a partnership and if I am to be an equal partner I am entitled to know what I am getting into.” After much nagging and threatening, you should be able to get a handle on both of your assets and liablities.
If you are working out a prenup it’s even easier to get this information. Both of your assets and liabilities should be listed miticulously on the agreement. On a side note, please, please, don’t try to save a buck by not getting your own attorney to negotiate the prenup. Saving money now may mean losing millions later. This is textbook “penny wise and dollar foolish.” In the end, an accounting you must have, because you may as well let your looks go if you are going to be tied down with a s-load of debt.